Feels So Gooooddd to Be Back :)

Is there anyone who still waiting for my post??? *doubting* :p
I bet many of you are already bored to read my post since I'm just a "temporary" blogger.. Hehe..
Well, I hope this post could bring the mood back :D

Let's start with the FLASHBACK! :)
I will start with the most interesting topic..
You should read this before you continue to read ;)

Yep! At the end of March 2014, the "surveillance cameras" thingy was back..
You know what?! I heard the voices of unknown people again at my latest office right after office hour..
I was really confirmed that I heard the voices of my co-workers which were already go home..
From that moment, I really feel so stupid for not believe in myself about the existence of surveillance cameras since I worked at 7-Eleven..
I complained to Daddy JC, "Why is this happening again, Dad??" :'(

Then, in short, since that day I didn't go to work for one month.. *Wow!*
I heard the voices again for almost one month at home and I was too scared to leave my home because I knew that I would hear people on street talking about the same topic that I heard from the voices at home..
At this moment, I bet you think that I'm suffered from a psychological diseases which is an auditory hallucination whenever I'm stressed out..
BUT, NOTE THIS PEOPLE! I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT!
I'M NOW MUCH MORE SURE THAT THERE ARE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS!
It's because the topic I heard from the voices was NOT RANDOM, it's all about me..
They *I mean the voices* always commented on my activity at that moment..
For example, when I was reading my mandarin book, the voices said "her mandarin is not bad, and bla bla bla" Sometimes they said positive comments and sometimes they said negative ones..
They even commented on my "private activity" in the bathroom, exactly the same with what I wrote in my previous post about the cameras..
What do you think??
I'm not crazy enough to tell myself a positive things to encourage myself to do something and some minutes later I tell myself negative things that can bring me down..
Oh, come on people..
I'm well aware that I still haven't found the cameras yet..
But I've decided to believe that the cameras are really exist..
AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE RISK THAT PEOPLE CAN EXCOMMUNICATE ME BECAUSE OF THIS IRRATIONAL BELIEF..
During that one month, I also learnt that if I don't have Daddy JC in my life and this kind of situation happen to me, maybe I would end up in mental hospital like others.

Thank God, I kinda have a clue now when the surveillance camera will be on again.. ;)
*at this point, you have the right to judge me that I'm way out of my mind to get this kind of idea and you can stop reading my blog anytime because I know that most people will think it's nonsense/bullshit*
I got this clue when I was pushing my brain to think why the camera is on again during that one month..
I'm so sorry that I can not share it here because I have to anticipate the case that the person who set the cameras read this post..
I myself only 90% sure that the clue is exactly right..
So, the chances that the cameras will be on again are still there..
And I've been asking Daddy JC to not let this situation happen again anymore..

NOTE TO THE PERSON WHO SET THE CAMERAS:
IF YOU READ THIS POST, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M VERY VERY THANKFUL TO YOU!
I'M THANKFUL FOR YOUR ATTENTION AND CARING AND FOR MAKING THE CAMERAS THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE MEMORIES IN MY LIFE.
AND ALSO FOR MAKING ME CLOSER TO DADDY JC.
I SOMETIMES THOUGHT THAT THE MOMENT WHEN THE CAMERAS ARE ON WAS THE MOMENT WHEN I'M THE MOST HUMILIATED.
BUT NOW I KNOW FOR SURE THAT THE MOMENT WHEN THE CAMERAS ARE ON WAS THE MOMENT WHEN DADDY JC LIFT ME UP HIGHER.

As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disgraced.”

- Romans 10:11 (NLT)

Please don't get the wrong idea, I do trust/believe that the cameras are exist but I DON'T trust/believe in the people voices..
I do trust/believe in myself that I hear the voices of the people I know talking "behind my back", but I DON'T trust/believe in their talks or comments..

One thing for sure, I have really been struggling to avoid that situation (by always remind myself about the clue) ever since I was back to work until now..
There are two things that help me to keep holding on:
1. I always have my Daddy JC besides me and His "love letters" with me
2. I have to appreciate my boss for understanding & still welcoming me after that one month. I'm still working at the same office and I can say I've been through many wonderful experiences at the office until now :)

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

- Romans 5: 3-5 (NLT)

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

- James 1:3 (NLT)

One more thing!
The song that is played when you open my blog is my currently favorite song titled "Found Faithful".
If you can't find the button to stop the music in my blog, you can find the button on the bottom. ;)

~ to be continued ~

A Life Series of Unfortunate Event

Hi.......!!!!!!!!
Thank you for waiting for about 5 months.. hehehe
It's been really, really a "colorful" months for me..
Started with a new job at 7 Eleven Indonesia at March 28, 2013..

It felt so good to have a job with many nice people around me..
The only issue is I felt very uncomfortable with "unknown" stalker behind me..
Really.. A grown up girl who is on fire w/ her new job, is also scared out of hell w/ "stalking" stuff..
I'm so (very) glad those days are over..
Here the story goes:
In the first couple days, I enjoy my class very much.
I made friend w/ some people in my management trainee class..
There were about 30 people in class w/ various unique character..
The quiet one, the humorous one, the cool one (haha..), the lovely one, the kind one, and many others..
I have close friend named Eka Pascarina (called "Ina")..
Really sad I couldn't post her photo because I have erased all the photos and my contacts related to all my friends there because of the "stalking scene".. Felt so stupid..
Right now, I really miss them all... >___<
By the way, I got group assignment from my trainer in class..

Formerly, I really enjoy working with them but as time goes by I started to feel that there's "a stalker" and it really annoyed me..
My emotion were getting played by it..
Even more, I couldn't express what I want to do in that group assignment..
Maybe it's because I always get used to do all things by myself and back when in the university, I always manage my team in all group assignment..
But at there, I felt everything was set..

At first, I thought that it's all set by Daddy JC..
That I didn't have to trouble myself w/ many stuff to do like I did in university..
But over time, I felt like they put a surveillance camera in my house..
I could think like that because all the talking within my group is very weird..
It's like someone knows all my activity at home..
The most talkative person in my group talked about a very unrelated topics that really match with everything I do at home..
From then, I was a bit stressed..
Moreover, every people I met on street were talking about the same ("my private") topics..
How come I didn't get stressed??
But when I remember that I must work in order to get my scholarship, I really push myself to it and I decided to enjoy every single time I spend there..

Then, in the middle time I felt all people in the class are changing to a very different person, including my closest friend..
I didn't understand every conversation between two or a group of them..
I felt like I'm the one who always miscommunicate w/ each of them..
And sometime I felt that they were talking about "my private" topics at home..
I really don't like it at all..
Meantime my unstable emotion keep getting stronger..
I felt a bit relieved when I did "sales associate implementation" at 7 Eleven Buaran because I felt apart from the "stalking" circumstances at the office..
I would like to give thanks to all sales associate at 7 Eleven Buaran:
Pak Wahidin, Mas Bagindo, Mbak Ida, Mbak Dina, Mas Farid, Mbak Alfi, Mbak Lis, etc.
I really learn much about food and beverages retail system implementation there..

Back in the office, the fear of "stalking scene" came back again..
I really tried to concentrate to my job as retail merchandising..
I tried many trick to overcome my fear..
One of the trick is MUSIC.. ;)
I put on my headset while I did my job assignment so that I couldn't hear the "stalking topics"..
I couldn't imagine how I must live and work with my life open to everybody..
Moreover, I felt I was being troublesome for everybody at 7 Eleven..
Why?? The only reason because I have faith for this company..

I worked there because they have a very good motto:
"I lead by example, I do what is right, and I serve other"
For you who are also JC follower like me should have known this..
It's really like what Daddy JC teach us..
I really recommend Daddy JC follower who has business background and ESPECIALLY has interest in retail business apply for "management trainee" at 7 Eleven..
Then because I couldn't stand it anymore (I felt really, really stressed working without apparent cause of scare and with many suspicious feeling) , I decided to quit the job (I officially quit the job at April 31, 2013)..

After I quit the job, the "stalking scene" WERE NOT OVER YET..
I bought a good book at Gramedia Matraman named "Life @ Work" by John C. Maxwell..
It told that David is the example of man of faith that have successful career in his life..
And his life is open to everybody..

I shouted and cried to Daddy JC, "God, I'm not David. I'm Jessie Your daughter. I don't want my life be opened to people in this world..."
Why I said "people in this world"??
Because I saw people in the internet and in television are different..
I could see their "very weird" body language and voice tone..
I could also hear my "private topics" were talked about by them all..
NOTE THIS PEOPLE, I'M NOT CRAZY YET (hmm,, maybe some of you think I gone crazy already.. It's up to you.. It's your right to call me that.. I just feel like I must state it so that I can assure you all)..
I'm writing this with a very clear state of mind..
And at that time also, I'm in a very stable condition..
I'm not a primordial man who haven't watch TV or internet..
IN FACT, I'm an internet geek..
At university, I spent my whole time reading journal in my laptop, blogging, streaming movie and video...
Do you wanna hear a crazier fact??
Most of my song in my Android and Blackberry's playlist changes in the lyrics..
I usually download song from YouTube and the singer usually takes couple foreword or "promotion word" before or after the song..
And the words were also CHANGE!! (weird and scary....)

Another thing, I heard voice of unknown people in my house that reaffirms my suspicion about the surveillance camera in my house..
The voice also mention people that I've known before like Pak Jeff, Pak Henry, Ivan, Ntep, Angel, Awen, Adit, Ina, Jinia, Audi, etc..
FYI, Pak Jeff and Pak Henry is the owner of some 7 Eleven outlet..
Ivan, Ntep, and Angel is my cousin..
Adit and Ina is one of my friend at 7 Eleven...
Jinia and Audi is my campus friend..
And Awen is my "long time no see" friend which I used to have a crush on him..
According to psychology, if I made mistake about the "surveillance camera" thingy, I constantly have auditory hallucination about this name because I have some memory with them..
Other auditory hallucination I've experienced is I heard some people talking and comment on me (they read my face expression) while I watched YouTube video (very weird, huh?!)..
But that's what I experienced and I just want you all to know and leave some comment.. :D

Yes, I think we all have bad and good memory with some special person in our life and our brain is made by Daddy JC to keep that memory..
It's all about how we keep up with those memories..
To confirm that I wasn't crazy yet, I also took a brief consultation with Cici Angel (the name above) who has graduated as master in psychology..
She said that auditory hallucination is VERY NORMAL but it's already too much if the voice constantly annoy me..
At that time being, I didn't feel much annoyed..
But as time goes by, it already gone too much until I assume that my life was like David's life and I told all my life event at home (I assume that my talk were being heard by people in this world through a kind of teleconference.. :p)
I think that's THE CRAZIEST THING I've done in my life.. hahaha..
HEY, ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD DID CRAZY STUFF ONCE OR TWICE OR OFTEN IN THEIR LIFE, RIGHT?? :))
I even getting more suspicious to every people I met including my own family..

I knew it wasn't right so I decided to stay overnight at my cousin, Cici Lisa Yanuar's, house at Sentul where I could also help her to watch over my 2 years old niece, Shalom..

 Some photograph of my niece, Shalom Jemima.

Taken by Blackberry camera.

Cute, isn't she??

At there, I felt so refresh (I really thank God for this opportunity)..

I also celebrated my nephew, Samuel Johanes (Shalom's older brother), birthday..

Samuel 11th birthday.

P.F July 17, 2013

Don't I look fresh and relax at the photo?? ;D

I really love it there..

I believe it's not a coincidence..

When I stayed there I FELT that some of my dream is already granted by Daddy JC..

First, my "life series of unfortunate event" is God's grace for my biggest dream to set the world on fire..

Second, my dream to have a biological child and an adopted child is INDIRECTLY granted at Sentul (Shalom is Cici Lisa's biological child and Samuel is Cici Lisa's adopted child)..

Third, my dream to have wood floor is also INDIRECTLY granted there (my room which is also the kids' room is covered with wood)..

Don't you see, what a great God we have??!

How great is our God..

As bonus, I also got a mountain bike from "3G Celebration" at GBI Danau Bogor Raya..

The story plot is I join COOL (Community of Love) Sentul's singing group that would take part in GBI Danau Bogor Raya "3G Celebration"..

I practice singing at COOL Sentul leader's house and I was trusted to take the solo part..

On July 19, 2013, we sang together in "3G Celebration" at GBI Danau Bogor Raya..

COOL (Community of Love) Sentul

Mountain bike from the doorprize

How great is our God...

Last but not least, I would like to give thanks to

I miss all my friends there and I hate myself for being so selfish...

The most thing I learn from there indirectly is about life at work...
And to "GAB Youth" community for always strengthen me through my tough times..
I learn that "my emotion is not controlled by other, but by myself"..
Every day I wake up in the morning, I can choose to be happy, worry, scare, or sad..
IT'S MY LIFE!!

I Decide by Lindsay Lohan

Don't think that you can tell me what to think
I'm the one who knows what's good for me
And I'm stating my independence
Gonna take the road I'm gonna take
And I'm gonna make my own mistakes
It's my life
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

Don't think you're ever gonna hold me down
Couldn't do it then can't do it now
I'm kickin' down all the fences
I'm gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up
It's my ride
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

I'm taking my own chances
And I'm finding my own answers
I'm only answering to me
And that's the way it's gonna be
I decide
Oh yeah
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide

Thanks Daddy JC :) You're always awesome!!

P.S @Awen&Jesslyn I sincerely wish you two a long last relationship and wish me luck for the future! :)

Paper Crafting

Yes, that's what I'm doing lately..
I started paper crafting when I was searching for my Sunday School kids' Easter activity, and then I kinda become addicted to it.. :p
So, these are some of them that I've done until now..

Those two are options for Easter activity, but I'm still searching for the most suitable paper craft for the kids, considering the time limit and difficulty level..

And these couple bear is Valentine edition.. hehe (anyway, Happy Valentine! :))
Speaking of Valentine, I want to share a nice cover song from a cute little Youtuber rapper named Matty..

Little Things - One Direction (Cover by MattyBRaps)

I still remember that moment in January
You were… sent down from heaven 
Me and your brothers nearly
Flipped the kitchen table over 
The moment you made it home
And how much we all adored you 
Couldn’t leave you alone
And it’s funny how much you teach us
As we’re watching you grow
Learning how to treat a lady
I just want you to know 
That you’re an angel… glory… more than my shooting star
And I wouldn’t change a freckle I love you for who you are

I won’t let these little things out my mouth
Cause if I do it’s you, it’s you they add up to
and I’m in love with you and all your little things

This I promise
Promise you’ll always be
Someone that I thinks important
Special lady indeed
And let nothing come between us
Protect what is you and me
And tell you that I love you loud
Enough for the world to see
Though… no perfect brother
Try not to let you down
And what’s mine is your forever just hope I can make you proud
You’re an angel… glory… more than my shooting star
And I wouldn’t change a freckle I love you for who you are

I won’t let these little things out my mouth
Cause if I do it’s you, it’s you they add up to
and I’m in love with you and all your little things x2

Matty dedicated this song to his Down Syndrome sister, Sarah..

I really like the lyrics modification..
He's absolutely gonna be a great man..

As (some of) you know, I like this cartoon character, therefore I made this!

I also did some photo shoots for the characters..

SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star (best friend)

SpongeBob and Gary the Snail (master and pet)

 SpongeBob, Squidward Quincy Tentacles (SpongeBob's neighbor and co-worker at Krusty Krab), and Patrick

 SpongeBob, Captain Eugene Harold "Armor Abs" Krabs (the owner of Krusty Krab), and Squidward

Sheldon James Plankton Jr and Mr. Krabs (enemy for lifetime)

Thanks for visiting my blog! God bless :)

P.S I LOVE YOU

For you who is in the middle of uncertainty..
For you who is recently questioning about God..
For you who feel lost in nowhere..
For you who feel nobody cares about you..
For you who think your life is complicated..
For me!
There's always Someone who loves you in His VERY OWN WAY...

~ How Can I Not by Jayesslee ~

When you were a child

I loved you

When you were a child

I called you My son

But the more I called you

the further you went from Me

It was I who taught you

Taught you to walk your first steps

It was I who taught you

holding you

by your hand

It was I

who healed you

Healed all of your

bruises wounds and pain

CHORUS:

How can I give you up

How can I hand you over

How can I treat you like

Treat you like a sinner

How can I look at you

when you turn against Me

Compassion is stirring

My love overflowing for you

How can I not love you

I saw you walking in the dessert land

Got Me thinking

Got Me wondering

When will he be okay

So I cared for you

I led you

But you forgot Me

you forgot Me

(Back to CHORUS)

When will you understand

When will you see

That I am waiting right here for you

Come back again

When will you see

that I am ready

to forgive you

and to care for you

and love you once again

How can I give you up

How can I hand you over

How can I treat you like

Treat you like a sinner

How can I look at you

when you turn against Me

Compassion is stirring

My love overflowing for you

My love overflowing for you

Compassion is stirring

My love overflowing for you

How can I not love you

2012 Flashback

Hi all..
Here I am.. Back from the real to virtual world again.. :p
I feel bored with my catchy Sponge Bob background, so I change it to quite catchy fruity background.. Hehe..
This time, as always, I'm taking a moment to tell you my brief flashback of 2012..
So, let's start...

I've spent about half year to finish my research and thesis "Extraction and Characterization of Bromelain from Fruit, Core, Peel, and Crown of Palembang Pineapple"..
In some occasions, it turned my life upside down..
But I REALLY AM grateful for my campus fellowship (His Generation community) and my church fellowship (GAB Youth community)  that had always strengthen my faith.. Thanks guys :)

BIOTECHNOLOGY GRADUATES OF 2012. Can you locate me? :)

Dr. Diana E. Waturangi, M.Si (dean of Biotechnology Faculty); Dr. Noryawati Mulyono, S.Si (my thesis advisor); me; my mom;
Prof. Dr. Ir. Maggy T. Suhartono (my thesis co-advisor).
Big thanks to Mrs. Noryawaty and Mrs. Maggy for all the help, advice, and encouragement :)

Tante Hanny (my mom's friend who also watched my graduation); cici Angel (my cousin who also graduated as Master of Psychology); me; my dearest mom :)

Me; Eli (one of my research teammate. Thank you for all the help and support, mate ;));
Anne (thanks to Anne and her mom who done my hair and make-up :)); Audi (my fashionable friend ;))

Me and Ochie (my other research teammate).
Thank you also for the help and support, mate ;)

After graduated at the end of July, I had a chance to fulfill the 6th point of my 2012 resolution with help from one of my docent, but in the middle of the process I canceled it because of financial problem..
Didn't give up just like that, I'm looking for other scholarship opportunity until I found an opportunity that requires two years of working experience in related field..
On one side I want to search for another scholarship that doesn't need any requirements but on the other side I want to feel the world of work..
Driven by many advise from people around me, I'm starting to find a job while some of my friends had already got their job..
I was so determined for it and pray to God that I could find one before Christmas..

While waiting for job interview, I got a chance to involve as Sunday School teacher..
It had been a long time since I actively involved in Sunday School service in my old church..
I am absolutely grateful for this opportunity..
It really burst out my passion for children..

Yes. There's so much excited energy there. Until now. Thanks Dad.

I love all my Sunday School children :))

(the kids photo: Soon!)

On September 27 and 28, I join my church retreat..
I enjoyed this retreat but to be honest, I didn't get something special from it..
However, I knew more about spiritual life and I learn to serve Him not only because of my passion for kids but also because of my love for Him..

Retreat of Gereja Allah Baik 2012

(three small boys that sit at the front with red jacket, white jacket, and white T-shirt are three of my Sunday School kids :))

On the 10th of November, mom and dad celebrated their 25th wedding at our house..
At that time, I shared a testimony until I sobbed.. It was a memorable one..

(Photo: Soon!)

At the beginning of December I got a job with position that I want..
But unfortunately, it didn't last long..
Sorry, I couldn't tell more about it here because of some reasons..
I did learn so much from it, especially about my personal relationship with Him..
From that short experience, I just felt that He had already been sooo good to me even though I (again) didn't prioritizing Him throughout those periods of time..
I felt guilty but, I didn't want to drag myself through each day in guilty like what I've did before..
I've confessed it in my prayer and that's it..
I only believe that He already forgives me, doesn't remember even a bit about it, and I continue to have faith that He has already provided me a better one.. Yes!

On 25th of December, I celebrated Christmas with my mom and dad's family.. :)
It's always nice to gather with whole family, having a fellowship, knowing the latest news about each others, and every family got some Christmas presents..

My mom; dearest brother (Jan); me; my dad

On December 28, me and my family visit Granny's grave..
It was the first time for me after she passed away..
Well, I rarely miss her.. But my brain always recall her every time I hear, sing, or see the lyrics of some nursery rhymes like "Humpty Dumpty", "Baa Baa Black Sheep", "Hickory Dickory Dock", "Are You Sleeping?" or some folklore like "Thumbelina" or "Goldilocks and The Three Bears"..

@ Grandpa's & Granny's grave 

Some of my 2012 resolution (1st, 2nd, 3rd point) are half done but the other's not yet..
Looking at those resolution (and suddenly it reminds me of one of my cousin's talking), I'm starting to think that some people would look at me as an idealist person..
But for me, it's just me being optimistic..
I wouldn't feel so disappoint if I couldn't fulfill all my targets because, in my opinion, if I couldn't fulfill it then there's gonna be something new that I could learn from..
And for this year, I will keep up with those resolutions..

This Casting Crown's song steady my heart..
I hope it steady yours, too.. :)

Love and pray,