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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I Can Make It Through The "Rain"




I wanna be just like the seashells..
It survives through the rough ocean waves and STILL ALIVE...






I'M STILL ALIVE AND WELL through the rain and storm :D

Monday, July 22, 2013

A Life Series of Unfortunate Event

Hi.......!!!!!!!!
Thank you for waiting for about 5 months.. hehehe
It's been really, really a "colorful" months for me..
Started with a new job at 7 Eleven Indonesia at March 28, 2013..

It felt so good to have a job with many nice people around me..
The only issue is I felt very uncomfortable with "unknown" stalker behind me..
Really.. A grown up girl who is on fire w/ her new job, is also scared out of hell w/ "stalking" stuff..
I'm so (very) glad those days are over..
Here the story goes:
In the first couple days, I enjoy my class very much.
I made friend w/ some people in my management trainee class..
There were about 30 people in class w/ various unique character..
The quiet one, the humorous one, the cool one (haha..), the lovely one, the kind one, and many others..
I have close friend named Eka Pascarina (called "Ina")..
Really sad I couldn't post her photo because I have erased all the photos and my contacts related to all my friends there because of the "stalking scene".. Felt so stupid..
Right now, I really miss them all... >___<
By the way, I got group assignment from my trainer in class..

Formerly, I really enjoy working with them but as time goes by I started to feel that there's "a stalker" and it really annoyed me..
My emotion were getting played by it..
Even more, I couldn't express what I want to do in that group assignment..
Maybe it's because I always get used to do all things by myself and back when in the university, I always manage my team in all group assignment..
But at there, I felt everything was set..

At first, I thought that it's all set by Daddy JC..
That I didn't have to trouble myself w/ many stuff to do like I did in university..
But over time, I felt like they put a surveillance camera in my house..
I could think like that because all the talking within my group is very weird..
It's like someone knows all my activity at home..
The most talkative person in my group talked about a very unrelated topics that really match with everything I do at home..
From then, I was a bit stressed..
Moreover, every people I met on street were talking about the same ("my private") topics..
How come I didn't get stressed??
But when I remember that I must work in order to get my scholarship, I really push myself to it and I decided to enjoy every single time I spend there..

Then, in the middle time I felt all people in the class are changing to a very different person, including my closest friend..
I didn't understand every conversation between two or a group of them..
I felt like I'm the one who always miscommunicate w/ each of them..
And sometime I felt that they were talking about "my private" topics at home..
I really don't like it at all..
Meantime my unstable emotion keep getting stronger..
I felt a bit relieved when I did "sales associate implementation" at 7 Eleven Buaran because I felt apart from the "stalking" circumstances at the office..
I would like to give thanks to all sales associate at 7 Eleven Buaran:
Pak Wahidin, Mas Bagindo, Mbak Ida, Mbak Dina, Mas Farid, Mbak Alfi, Mbak Lis, etc.
I really learn much about food and beverages retail system implementation there..

Back in the office, the fear of "stalking scene" came back again..
I really tried to concentrate to my job as retail merchandising..
I tried many trick to overcome my fear..
One of the trick is MUSIC.. ;)
I put on my headset while I did my job assignment so that I couldn't hear the "stalking topics"..
I couldn't imagine how I must live and work with my life open to everybody..
Moreover, I felt I was being troublesome for everybody at 7 Eleven..
Why?? The only reason because I have faith for this company..

I worked there because they have a very good motto:
"I lead by example, I do what is right, and I serve other"
For you who are also JC follower like me should have known this..
It's really like what Daddy JC teach us..
I really recommend Daddy JC follower who has business background and ESPECIALLY has interest in retail business apply for "management trainee" at 7 Eleven..
Then because I couldn't stand it anymore (I felt really, really stressed working without apparent cause of scare and with many suspicious feeling) , I decided to quit the job (I officially quit the job at April 31, 2013)..

After I quit the job, the "stalking scene" WERE NOT OVER YET..
I bought a good book at Gramedia Matraman named "Life @ Work" by John C. Maxwell..
It told that David is the example of man of faith that have successful career in his life..
And his life is open to everybody..

I shouted and cried to Daddy JC, "God, I'm not David. I'm Jessie Your daughter. I don't want my life be opened to people in this world..."
Why I said "people in this world"??
Because I saw people in the internet and in television are different..
I could see their "very weird" body language and voice tone..
I could also hear my "private topics" were talked about by them all..
NOTE THIS PEOPLE, I'M NOT CRAZY YET (hmm,, maybe some of you think I gone crazy already.. It's up to you.. It's your right to call me that.. I just feel like I must state it so that I can assure you all)..
I'm writing this with a very clear state of mind..
And at that time also, I'm in a very stable condition..
I'm not a primordial man who haven't watch TV or internet..
IN FACT, I'm an internet geek..
At university, I spent my whole time reading journal in my laptop, blogging, streaming movie and video...
Do you wanna hear a crazier fact??
Most of my song in my Android and Blackberry's playlist changes in the lyrics..
I usually download song from YouTube and the singer usually takes couple foreword or "promotion word" before or after the song..
And the words were also CHANGE!! (weird and scary....)

Another thing, I heard voice of unknown people in my house that reaffirms my suspicion about the surveillance camera in my house..
The voice also mention people that I've known before like Pak Jeff, Pak Henry, Ivan, Ntep, Angel, Awen, Adit, Ina, Jinia, Audi, etc..
FYI, Pak Jeff and Pak Henry is the owner of some 7 Eleven outlet..
Ivan, Ntep, and Angel is my cousin..
Adit and Ina is one of my friend at 7 Eleven...
Jinia and Audi is my campus friend..
And Awen is my "long time no see" friend which I used to have a crush on him..
According to psychology, if I made mistake about the "surveillance camera" thingy, I constantly have auditory hallucination about this name because I have some memory with them..
Other auditory hallucination I've experienced is I heard some people talking and comment on me (they read my face expression) while I watched YouTube video (very weird, huh?!)..
But that's what I experienced and I just want you all to know and leave some comment.. :D

Yes, I think we all have bad and good memory with some special person in our life and our brain is made by Daddy JC to keep that memory..
It's all about how we keep up with those memories..
To confirm that I wasn't crazy yet, I also took a brief consultation with Cici Angel (the name above) who has graduated as master in psychology..
She said that auditory hallucination is VERY NORMAL but it's already too much if the voice constantly annoy me..
At that time being, I didn't feel much annoyed..
But as time goes by, it already gone too much until I assume that my life was like David's life and I told all my life event at home (I assume that my talk were being heard by people in this world through a kind of teleconference.. :p)
I think that's THE CRAZIEST THING I've done in my life.. hahaha..
HEY, ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD DID CRAZY STUFF ONCE OR TWICE OR OFTEN IN THEIR LIFE, RIGHT?? :))
I even getting more suspicious to every people I met including my own family..

I knew it wasn't right so I decided to stay overnight at my cousin, Cici Lisa Yanuar's, house at Sentul where I could also help her to watch over my 2 years old niece, Shalom..



 Some photograph of my niece, Shalom Jemima.
Taken by Blackberry camera.

Cute, isn't she??
At there, I felt so refresh (I really thank God for this opportunity)..
I also celebrated my nephew, Samuel Johanes (Shalom's older brother), birthday..




Samuel 11th birthday.
P.F July 17, 2013

Don't I look fresh and relax at the photo?? ;D
I really love it there..
I believe it's not a coincidence..
When I stayed there I FELT that some of my dream is already granted by Daddy JC..

First, my "life series of unfortunate event" is God's grace for my biggest dream to set the world on fire..

Second, my dream to have a biological child and an adopted child is INDIRECTLY granted at Sentul (Shalom is Cici Lisa's biological child and Samuel is Cici Lisa's adopted child)..

Third, my dream to have wood floor is also INDIRECTLY granted there (my room which is also the kids' room is covered with wood)..

Don't you see, what a great God we have??!
How great is our God..
As bonus, I also got a mountain bike from "3G Celebration" at GBI Danau Bogor Raya..
The story plot is I join COOL (Community of Love) Sentul's singing group that would take part in GBI Danau Bogor Raya "3G Celebration"..
I practice singing at COOL Sentul leader's house and I was trusted to take the solo part..

video

On July 19, 2013, we sang together in "3G Celebration" at GBI Danau Bogor Raya..

COOL (Community of Love) Sentul

Mountain bike from the doorprize

How great is our God...
Last but not least, I would like to give thanks to


I miss all my friends there and I hate myself for being so selfish...
The most thing I learn from there indirectly is about life at work...
And to "GAB Youth" community for always strengthen me through my tough times..
I learn that "my emotion is not controlled by other, but by myself"..
Every day I wake up in the morning, I can choose to be happy, worry, scare, or sad..
IT'S MY LIFE!!



I Decide by Lindsay Lohan

Don't think that you can tell me what to think
I'm the one who knows what's good for me
And I'm stating my independence
Gonna take the road I'm gonna take
And I'm gonna make my own mistakes
It's my life
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
What I need
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

Don't think you're ever gonna hold me down
Couldn't do it then can't do it now
I'm kickin' down all the fences
I'm gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up
It's my ride
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

I'm taking my own chances
And I'm finding my own answers
I'm only answering to me
And that's the way it's gonna be
I decide
Oh yeah
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep
Who I know
I'm the one who's runnin' my life 
I decide
I decide

I decide how I live
I decide who I love
Choice is mine
And no one gets to make my mind up
I decide

Thanks Daddy JC :) You're always awesome!!



P.S @Awen&Jesslyn I sincerely wish you two a long last relationship and wish me luck for the future! :)