And I'm yearning to share it to all of you..
It's about my spiritual life..
Suddenly, I'm kind of aware of the different between the period when I have a good communication with Him and the period when I don't..
Back when I was in high school until the second year in campus, I can say I have a close enough relationship with our Big Daddy..
I could feel the situation around me is very calm and comfort, I found a long-lasting peace in my heart, I could sense His grace every single day in my life.. It's awesomely beautiful..
Especially in my second semester, I found the braveness to ask my parents to do our family altar again (we once had our family altar when I was in the 6th grade, but it stopped)..
At this time, I really feel that every family should have their own family altar..
Why? Because based on what I have experienced, I learn so much in it..
In the family altar, me, my father, and my mother share all problems/ struggle we currently have..
Then we share our opinion, exchange ideas, and most important of all we strengthen each other through our prayer..
I could know more about what a finance manager do at work (it's my mom.. hahaha..)
I learn more about my mom and dad's character, learn to be a good listener, to solve a problem, and how to see thing from two perspective so I could be a good mediator whenever my mom and dad got a conflict (you can also read my old post)..
Well, although my brother used not to join our family altar, but we always pray for him so that someday he could join us..
Okay, let's back to the main topic..
About few months before my brother had the accident, our family altar has stopped again and my relationship with Big Daddy started to become apart..
My morning prayer was still on but it became more infrequent..
I'm so thankful when the accident happened, I chose the right path, which is to stand firm in my faith..
Yup, that's the only thing that help me to fight on..
Maybe somebody thought I was already crazy because I always smile and laugh whenever I talked about my brother.. But that's my "tangible" faith..
As time went by, my brother was getting better while my personal relationship with Him was getting messed-up..
I was just keeping my faith but I didn't have a good communication with Him..
I realize that I was so wrong! James 2: 26 (KJV) said "For as the body without the spirit is dead so faith without works is dead."
Yes, I did feel the impact..
I didn't find peace or comfort in my heart, I easily got afraid and worried on something, I lost the confident in me..
However, those two periods have taught me much..
I felt like I'm reaffirmed that I just couldn't stay away from Him.. I could do nothing without Him..
I'm reminded to stay focus on my priority, stand firm in my faith, whatever it takes..
I also learn that human skill, maturity, achievement, success, are all grace from Him..
We actually don't have anything to be proud about or anything to be jealous about..
"Don't have anything to be proud about" does not mean you have to be a person with low self esteem..
Contrarily, it means that you have to be proud of every small things you've achieved but don't let your pride makes you become a condescending person..
Most of all, I learn that a good communication with Him really is a MUST..
I remember the story about Maria and Martha..
The first thing Jesus want from us is not our service.. He just wants us to stay still under His presence and try to listen what He really want from us.. Therefore, it needs a deep relationship to be able to listen to His voice..
I'm still learning now.. I just need to be focus and makes Him to be the center of all my activity in life.. Difficult?
Well, I think that word depends to our will and perspective.. ;)
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’ ~ Matthew 7: 21-23 (New Living Translation).
Engkau menyebut AKU Jalan, tetapi tidak mengikuti AKU...
Engkau menyebut AKU Terang, tetapi tidak melihat AKU...
Engkau menyebut AKU Guru, tetapi tidak mendengarkan AKU...
Engkau menyebut AKU Sahabat, tetapi tidak pernah memperhatikan AKU...
Engkau menyebut AKU TUHAN, tetapi tidak melayani AKU...
Engkau menyebut AKU Kebenaran, tetapi tidak percaya kepada AKU...
Jangan engkau heran, jika suatu saat nanti AKU tidak mengenal engkau !! (Matius 7 : 23) ~ quoted from here
Maybe many times before He has taught me all those things..
I really am grateful He gave me another chance to learn again.. :)
As long as we live, we are learning.. Right?!
That's why there's such thing called "school of life"..
And before He promotes us to enter the next grade, He tests us..
I hope next time He test me, I'll past.. :))
Not to forget, I wanna say "Happy Eid Mubarak for all who celebrates! ^^"
(Picture is taken from here)